This is Me: Finding My Voice

Sigh. I don’t know anymore.

Everyone is annoying me. But I think it’s because I don’t know how to be a freidn. I feel bad because nothing is happening in my life. And I’m sad. The relationships I envision aren’t there. And it’s maybe a combo of me being me but also life. TV lied. you don’t see groups of friends everyday. You’re not going to have breakfast dates. And I feel alone but at the same time… nah. I just haven’t felt that type of compatibility. And I really crave intimacy. But ughhh it feels like that type of intimacy can’t be found in friendships. Only romantic. And I’m not dating/not interested. But if I’m being honest, I’m not sure if that’s because I don’t want to date or because no one is attracted to me.

And then everyone at my church (the onlhy other steady place I go to often) is annoying me. Maybe I’m not spiritual enough, but it feels like everything is placed on spirituality and none of our actions. And I don’t want to spend time. I think I’ve also made my reputation as little sister and it’s too late to change.

I don’t know I’m thinking a lot of stuff. I just need help and advice and an outlet and…I don’t know, not to feel alone.