Category: Diary
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I think I’m in an interesting crossroad. Because I still acknowledge that God is good and will always show gratitude to Him. But I genuinely hate this path that I’m on in regards to relationships. It’s tiring never feeling understood. Or being seen. Sometimes I feel like God has answered my prayers with a friend…
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Since I was a kid, I have felt like an outsider. I’ve been yearning, craving to feel wanted. I remember in middle school, I had some money for the bake fair and someone in band casually said she wanted something and I bought it for her, ignoring my plight. And it wasn’t a feel-good moment.…
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I wonder who we’d be to each other if we met today. Would we be closer because there’s less insecurity from me? Less relying on you to be a role you never asked to be? Would we be farther apart, because I wasn’t so focused on growing our relationship? Should I trust that everything happens…
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Today is the last day of me being 25. And also my last day on my parents’ insurance. lol. But in all seriousness. This year has been really, really hard. Change in friendships, spending 357 days of 25 being without a job offer, extreme depression, suicidal thoughts, no money, and just confused. But this year…
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These have been hard 2 days. Since the unemployment chapter has started, these low moments are not uncommon. And if I’m being honest, these low moments were there well before I got laid off. I think about my life and I thought life would be easier. That I would feel more stable, confident. These low…
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Today started off really well. And now I’m in my head. Lol. So, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this in other blogs, but I serve on the prayer team at my church. And that has come with its highs and lows, but I do think I’m right where God wants me to be. That…
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Right now I feel empty. I’m in church right now and I feel deeply lost. I feel like I’m losing a battle even though God has already won the battle: I’m deep in comparison battle. I feel like I’m losing a battle. I’m slowly falling into self hatred. I just don’t know why anyone would…
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Sigh. I don’t know anymore. Everyone is annoying me. But I think it’s because I don’t know how to be a freidn. I feel bad because nothing is happening in my life. And I’m sad. The relationships I envision aren’t there. And it’s maybe a combo of me being me but also life. TV lied.…
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Hi God, We made it! Last day of the fast. And I blogged for everyday (clap for me…clap clap). It has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions. I have felt the highest of highs, the lowest of lows, and the in between. But through it all, I talked to you, and we got more intimate.…
