This is Me: Finding My Voice

Today is the last day of me being 25. And also my last day on my parents’ insurance. lol. But in all seriousness.

This year has been really, really hard. Change in friendships, spending 357 days of 25 being without a job offer, extreme depression, suicidal thoughts, no money, and just confused. But this year also grew me. Like a lot.

I started this blog, which I think has really helped me to process my feelings and write them down. And it has. I’ve been reading my old blogs of this year, and it’s crazy how much pain I was in this year. But how much I lamented to God and didn’t hold the emotions in. Which in the past, I’ve definitely done.

And this year, I think (unintentionally) I’ve been better at not comparing myself and really trying to love myself. And honestly, the only way to do that was to have Christ at the center. Like loving myself through God’s eyes.

I started to really seek God’s voice out. Especially in the confusion. There were so many moments in which I really believed God hated me, and yet I never stopped talking and crying to Him. I thought ok cool I’m supposed to be in North Carolina. Then rejection. And then I thought ok Connecticut. Then rejection. Oh my God, the rejections this year. I never want to see a workday account ad I’ve already deleted the LinkedIn app from my phone.

But seeing the old posts. There are themes that I am still working through that I didn’t even realize was things that I peeped. I’ll say the words and the blogs that correlate

• Freedom: Authentically in Christ – This is Me: Finding My Voice; Walls of Jericho (1/15/26) – This is Me: Finding My Voice
• Peace: Peace – This is Me: Finding My Voice; Bored (1/16/26) – This is Me: Finding My Voice
• Lament: It is Well – This is Me: Finding My Voice; Dear God (1/11/26) – This is Me: Finding My Voice; About Last Night – This is Me: Finding My Voice
• Bible Study: Cup Overflowing (1/12/26) – This is Me: Finding My Voice; A Servant’s Heart – This is Me: Finding My Voice; One Body – This is Me: Finding My Voice; Yes (1/19/26) – This is Me: Finding My Voice
• Reflection: Surprise Calls (1/13/26) – This is Me: Finding My Voice; Joy (1/14/26) – This is Me: Finding My Voice; Not in that way (1/18/26) – This is Me: Finding My Voice

And y’all God gave me the bigggest birthday presentt. I GOT A NEW JOBBBB. And it’s better work hours, more pay, and there’s growth opportunities. And the way I got it could have only been done. Like you don’t understand. I applied on June 23, by June 30 it was my job. No more take homes, not powerpoint presentation. Just favor and mercy. Like I have not been able to smile and stop singing. My heart has just been joyful. There have been many songs but here are the ones on repeat

25 was rough, but I grew. In God, in self, in love. I think I’ve spent so much time acting like having insecurities makes me a bad person, instead of acknowledging my imperfections and challenging those insecurities with facts.

Everyone always says that this year will be the best year. But I truly believe that 26 will be my best year. I’m walking in that joy, happiness, and hope. I’m understanding that although there is work to be done, I am a masterpiece. Where I was last year is such a testimony to God’s patience, kindness, and mercy on my life.

Here’s to 26!