Hi God,
Happy MLK Jr Day! I pray his dream someday becomes our reality, but we will continue to work for your kingdom.
Sooo, these were the songs today. Feels like you had a point about obedience and yes. Hmm.
It’s so interesting because I feel like you’re trying to prepare me before I have to say the yes or it has come. I think this is about the job.
There’s 2 jobs I’m interviewing for. One in North Carolina and one in Virginia. They would both require me to move out. And it’s so funny, I was like praying with worry about how I would deal with my rent and all these things….I haven’t even heard back yet. I also haven’t interviewed with one of them. But it feels like this is the job.
But I’ve also had these feelings with other jobs and they weren’t it so who knows lol. Maybe this is my Abraham and Isaac moment that God just wants to see my heart and that I’m willing to obey and he’ll open a door in New York. Maybe this is the closing of a door in New York. I don’t know.
What I do know is that even in my worry and fear I’ll say yes. Because I trust him. It’s also weird, because if I don’t get one of these jobs I feel like I’ll be sad because jobless longer, so this is all very…
I will not act with the spirit of fear, but I will press forward despite my emotions. So, if you say move, I will move and go somewhere new. It’s also funny because when I was very young, I used to live in North Carolina. And I was so sad, but I always believed I’ll be back in North Carolina. I thought I’d go there for undergraduate, and when that didn’t happen, I thought maybe grad school. But what if it’s now? And what if it’s more permanent than I believe. And that scares me.
Because I’m comfortable. I got my people. I feel more spiritually involved in my church. But maybe it’s time. And maybe it’s not who knows?
All I know is that God is good. In the waiting he is good. When my bank account is gone, he is good. It’s been over 9 months of no job, but he is good.
Also, God was talking to me about me acting like a Pharisee. I’ve been watching The Chosen (it’s sooo good after episode 4) and one thing that’s been really hitting is the way the Pharisees acted. Especially in thinking that God has to fit in these boxes that us humans have put him. One aspect was them thinking Jesus couldn’t be the Messiah because he was in human form and in Exodus 33:20 ESV he says
But,” he said, “you cannot see my face, for man shall not see me and live.”
Basically, by upholding the laws, they were putting God in a box. And it made me think? Am I letting God be God or am I putting God in a box of what’s acceptable and holy. And am I judging the person where God can only do that because he sees heart.
It was convicting, to say the least.
Now, I need to sleep because I have a substitute job tomorrow.
But, it’s week 2 and I feel the discipline going. So I’ll need your help Holy Spirit.
Love,
Tisa Ibori
This is Me: Finding My Voice 
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